Yesterday I went to visit Benjamin Spencer in prison for the second time. The first time his mother and friend Antonio escorted me through the physical maze and red tape that is the dallas county jail. This time I was on my own but feeling confident from the instruction I was given the first time. I parked correctly this time, saving a dollar and my safety by parking where everyone else does as opposed to my out of the way side parking last time in the garage  I nearly couldn’t find my way out of. I digress . . .
Visiting someone in prison is no small task and my heart breaks for the families waiting there for a fleeting moment with a relative once a week. The line is long and the ventilation lacking. Looking around I could count the lighter skinned visitors on both hands and there were literally hundreds of people waiting. The overwhelming representation of African Americans and Hispanics made me wonder what we as a society are doing wrong. Either we are profiling or we have failed these groups in some way and thus ourselves – maybe both. Or maybe it is that walmart vs. neimans justice – actually that counts as having failed as a society. To watch all the babies and toddlers that have to wait for over an hour made me sad. Standing with all these people in the windowless, winding corridors made me wonder what would happen if there was a fire. This jail has failed inspection for the 7th year in a row and one of the reasons was fire safety. There would no doubt be a stampede should a fire break out since the only way out seemed to be the way in and I am fairly certain there were more people in this hallway than should be allowed. Everyone is very nice and patient and waiting. Once I made it upstairs to the booth and sat down to talk with Ben I was struck by his strength of character and the grace of God. After 22 years in prison he has not lost his mind or given in to the brutality of prison life. He is walking the fine line of allowing himself to dream just enough about life on the outside to give himself hope and something to hold onto and work towards but at the same time accepting to some degree his current situation in order to not waste away or wallow in the depression that would come if his mind linger just a moment too long on what he would be doing in the free world on this sunny day or wondering what his son or wife is up to at this very moment. I saw the grace of God in his explaining to me how he is not angry at the people who put him here and misidentified him. It reminded me a line from a Will Smith song, “hate in your heart will consume you too”. He is just such an amazing person and I tried not to cry in front of him although my eyes filled with tears as he told me about not being bitter and how he would help any one of those people who put them here if they needed him to. He is helping people on the inside too. Talking sense into them when they are angry and giving them another perspective.
Dear God,
I know that things happen for a reason and you have not forgotten Ben or the others who have been falsely persecuted and imprisoned. And I know that Ben is shining his light in there and helping others. Please God let him come home to his family soon and continue his work on the outside. To the extent any of us can help be of service to you in this matter or any other give us a sign. And while Ben is still waiting please continue to hold him in your hand and give him the peace and wisdom and strength to keep on keeping on.
In Jesus name I pray.
Amen.